Thoughts and ideas. Words and actions. Texts and calls. Daily battles. Some are good, some are bad. And it’s hard to keep my emotions in check when every single one of them are moving like fast cars in my head. I try to hold on, as much as I can. I try to fight, as hard as I could. When the noise is the only thing I hear, I tune it out and play a louder sound.
I know this battle has been won. I know I hold the victor’s crown. I chose to succumb before because I cannot see nor understand, what I was fighting for. But now, I know the purpose. Now I know for Who’s purpose.
I am troubled, afflicted, hard pressed on every side; but I am not crushed. Perplexed, but not in despair. I am persecuted but I know I’m not alone, not abandoned, and will never be forsaken. I am pushed, struck down, and thrown hard to the ground; But I am not broken.
As I go on this detour, I can’t help but have these small anxiety attacks. What if I can’t go back? What if I’m going the wrong track? Paano ba bumalik sa 24th?
My interviewer told me to take my lunch first and so I did. But I decided to look around BGC as well. Lo and behold, I found myself lost in this concrete jungle. But thankfully, I brought my wits with me and I got back in time for the next part of the interview. This is what I found when I got lost:
Yeeeey I passed that interview! Still, I had to go back for one final interview. And though I was in BGC for weeks already, this is the first time I explored routes that I would (hopefully) take if I get the job. This would be my landmark for daily commutes, just across my bus stop:
I’m literally having small heart attacks, waiting for that phone call. I always have my phone on silent mode, but now, I have my volume up so that I would hear every ring and notification. There is this part of me that is still anxious and is still in doubt even though everyone told me I did a good job. This waiting game is killing me!
I hope to take in more art within the hustle and bustle of the city. I will, God-willing.
Tomorrow will be Every Nation Campus Muntinlupa’s first youth service at the Student Center, which is located at the city center. Truly, God holds everything together for the good of His people.
Still, it makes me nostalgic when I see photographs of our old building at Larychean. This is where I matured as a Christian. This is where I started co-leading a Victory group. This is where I started in the music ministry. There are a lot of memories, both good and bad, that I have with this building. It makes me both sad and happy to think about this.
Nostalgia aside, I am really grateful for God’s faithfulness in our campus ministry. As said in Isaiah 43:18-21:
18 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. 19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.
So excited for tomorrow! Claiming the harvest that God has promised! Hope to write more about our Student Center!
I am waiting for the day someone would tag me as a government apologist.
I keep on posting and posting about politics on my Facebook account. Some are well-received, some ensue debates. I believe some people are just too polite to call me names, too exasperated by my “stupidity about real politics”, or just too busy to even care.
I may have different beliefs about politics, maybe a bit right-leaning. But I don’t care. I don’t want to apologize for things I believe in. Anyway, three things that I’ve been thinking about for days already:
Blaming the government: I get so irked with people who keep on blaming the government. I know that it’s their responsibility and their mandate to solve the problems of the country. I know that a lot of them are not doing their jobs properly. Pero yung puro sisi lang at walang gawa? What do we get from that? And it’s so funny that these blame-game come from people who would say that PNoy and Sec. Mar just blames other people instead of claiming responsibility. E di pareho lang kayo. We want service, but we never serve others.I’m not saying that I have done a lot, nor say that I have done something that would even marginally contribute to the betterment of the country. What I am saying is that we have to back our words with action. If you think the government is not doing anything, then do something. Actions, not only words.
Maybe it’s also a reminder for me to go back to the cause I’ve been so passionate about before.
Good Local Governance: This is not only on the city-level, but in the barangay level as well. I believe that if elected barangay officials are well aware of the situation of their locality, people affected are not forced to go out and rally on the streets. Instead, these barangay officials would be the one to communicate with the city head and city council. That’s why it is important to elect good local officials because they are the direct voice of the community. Vote for barangay officials who would not just lounge around the barangay hall chatting with each other while their constituents are dying of hunger and poverty.
Kaya Natin! Movement, a non-government organization I’ve worked with, conducted seminars on good governance and ethical leadership to a group of young legislators before. They also had leadership seminars for barangay health workers and also for grassroots leaders. I hope they would be able to do it again soon for barangay captains and other local officials.
Bureaucracy: This has two sides. The good one is that it organizes the whole system. The bad one is that it takes too much time. I remember someone telling me that although there are protocols, she hoped that when the worst comes, they can also break protocols to address the immediate needs of people. This goes for calamity, epidemic, famine, conflagration, etc.,
That’s all for Nikki’s political thoughts of the day.
Like everyone else, I was really looking forward in seeing and hearing Davao Mayor Rodrigo Duterte. We were waiting for something that was not shown on mainstream media or on social media. There were a few, but I believe it was not enough for the attendees of the forum. As said, it was a forum – an open forum. So we actually we’re also looking forward to ask the Mayor questions that were pertinent to us. But sadly, because of the lack of time, he had to finish the forum, answering only 4 questions much to the dismay of everyone.
Amid loud cheers and chants from students and supporters, Mayor Rodrigo Duterte walked up the stage with his left fist raised and then starting with the statement, “I would be the first president coming from the left.” It’s something new, something people never heard of. But Duterte clarifies this saying, “We follow the path of socialism, but extremism is not for me.”
A GE Talk with a National Leader: Forum on Good Governance, Transparency, and Social Transformation is an activity under the Department of Social Sciences in UPLB through the initiative of the Political Science cluster. This is the fourth instalment of the series and the second time that a presidential candidate graced this forum. Social media was abuzz with the news of his attendance. A lot were expecting a great speech, great answers to the Q&A afterwards, and maybe, just maybe, a little controversy to come out.
Philippine Elections 2016 is so much anticipated because of the sheer controversies that enshroud candidates, especially those running for the national office. With less than two months to go, the candidates are on tiptoes trying to woo everyone everywhere. If they are upping their game, so should we. But how do we prepare as responsible, able, and sound-minded Filipinos? Here are five ways:
Last Saturday, our youth music core team had the privilege to talk and be mentored with one of the best artists in the local music industry.
Jose Villanueva III, more popularly known to the industry as Quest, is an amazing rapper, singer, and songwriter. Because of him, I appreciated the Filipino language more. I also had this desire to write in Filipino. Sadly, it isn’t that easy. (When I write in Filipino, it either sounds pilit or seems void of emotion). Anyway, he was gracious enough to answer our questions regarding worship, communing with God, and even writing songs.
To my home away from home. To the place which taught me about honor and freedom. To the place that encourage me to fight for things the world may not even care for. To my escapo, my secret and quiet place.
I would always and always yearn for you, my mental torture and ironically, my peace.
I appreciate you
It’s not that I don’t like people greeting me. Of course I appreciate that. But honestly, I know everyone of us are excited for greetings from specific people. I won’t be sad if the world don’t celebrate with me. I’m content that the people who I love and care for remember a day that may not even be that relevant to their own personal lives, and that I appreciate more.
“I hope you find yourself”
But where to start? And how? Questions I can never quite answer because I lack the capacity to. But here’s my realization: I may not find myself today, tomorrow, nor this year. I just don’t know how or when or will I ever. But one thing is for sure — God would always find me, and bring me home, like He usually does.